Library:In the Spirit of Stonewall/Gay mothers fight to keep children

Gay mothers fight to keep children

New York, June, 26, 1976

Somewhere in New York State lives a woman whose child has been taken away from her because she is a lesbian. The court ruled that she may only visit the child during the day, unaccompanied by her lover - who lived with her and the child for over two years - or any other friend.

In a final act of cruelty, the judge presiding over the case ruled that if she attempted to in any way publicize her case, she would lose even these severely restricted visiting rights.

This woman is only one of many lesbian mothers who have lost their rights to their children. In a society where mothers are almost automatically awarded custody of their children, lesbian mothers (and gay fathers) often lose even the right to see their children. In some cases, women have been allowed to keep their children only if they stopped living with their lovers.

What relationship do these judges see between sexual preference and the ability to raise a child? They speak of exposure to an environment "which may be deleterious" and "immoral atmosphere" and "detrimental effects," but no judge has ever been able to offer proof that these vague. insidious suggestion have any validity.

And while lesbians fighting to keep their children have brought into court psychiatrists, clergymen, family members, and even ex-employers to testify as to their fitness to take care of their children, they have lost their cases.

Nor has the decision to award custody of a child to its heterosexual rather than its homosexual parent been based on any other "virtue" than that of heterosexuality. In western Massachusetts, a father was award custody of his daughter even though she clearly expressed her desire to live with her mother, In a case in Ohio, the court, having ruled the father not a suitable parent, awarded custody of the children to the father's mother, a 65-year-old blind woman.

And what made an elderly blind woman a more suitable guardian for the children than their mother? In the words of the presiding judge: "I would think for the sake of the children, a lesbian would abandon the practice [of homosexuality]. Orgasm means more to them than children or anything else."

This is no more than the old malicious myth invoked to prevent gay people from being teachers or being in any job which involves children - or, for that matter, any responsible position - i.e that gay people are subject to such rampant, uncontrollable sexuality that they are rapists, child molesters, and worse.

Through such lies, the bourgeoisie seeks to isolate gay people from the rest of the working class, by declaring homosexuality a sickness and perversion - with the emphasis on the latter. In so doing, they pretend they are sincerely concerned about the welfare of the children.

WHO REALLY CARES?

We have all seen the fruits of the ruling class's great concern for children: closed-down daycare centers, reduction of medical facilities, over-crowded and inadequate schools. In particular, we have seen the special attention the bourgeoisie gives to children of oppressed people. Countless Black and Latin children are taken from their parents and put into foster homes or institutions. Some 25-35 percent of Native children are taken from their families. Last year when south Viet Nam was liberated, thousands of Vietnamese children were kidnapped from their families and their native land by the U.S. ruling class.

What is clear is that all of these children, be their parents Black, Latin, Native, Vietnamese, or gay, are only pawns in the war of the bourgeoisie against oppressed people. In essence, the ruling class is saying. "If you persist in struggling for your rights, we will take everything away from you, even your children." But as conditions worsen for all our children, we are learning who is really responsible. We are teaching these lessons to our children, so that they, too, will be able to fight for a world in which the well-being of all children is a universal concern and a living reality.